"I have outlived my pecker."

The Penis Poem 

My nookie days are over, 

My pilot light is out. 

What used to be my sex appeal, 

Is now my water spout. 

Time was when, on its own accord, 

From my trousers it would spring. 

But now I've got a full time job, 

To find the f***in' thing. 

It used to be embarrassing, 

The way it would behave. 

For every single morning, 

It would stand and watch me shave. 

Now as old age approaches, 

It sure gives me the blues. 

To see it hang its little head, 

And watch me tie my shoes!!

River of life

Tiny veins, the very beginning

Coursing their way toward the sun

Becoming one in the upward thrust

Bubbling and gurgling in life

Tumbling and dancing in exuberant infancy

Already the purity becoming stained

Raging with the strength of youth

Attempting to sweep all before

Fearless and arrogant in the serge

Only the pools of tranquillity and depth

Slowing the headlong rush

Into the flow of knowledge and age

Suffering the ebb and tide of experience

Until finally the sea of eternity 

Those that guard our coast

Searching infinite nothingness

While storm rents it rage

Mind in its comfort of safety

Try’s to reach troubled souls

Willing fear sodden hearts

To resist watery sleep

Mad joy for safety and saved

Tears and torment for those lost

Ever reminding respect

For the impersonal elements

The blocked toilet

Saw a Dutch yacht in Brighton Marina trying to unblock a sea toilet that someone had pumped up to the max. They had used a halliard from the top of the mast to heel the boat right over on its side so that a guy could ram a rod up the outlet. On the opposite side of the jetty there was moored a large gin palace with an intrigued audience all gin in hand leaning over the rail watching. Dutchman is working away with his rod when all of a sudden there’s a whoosh; Dutchman is flat on his back covered in shit as is the gin palace and all who sail in her. I was on the yacht directly behind the yacht, got no shit, but suffered injured crew from the hysterical laughter and falling about in cockpit.

Dawn today 01/10/2011

Soft light spreading through tunnelled sky

Giving sombre shadows their first semblance of shape

Freeing fine mists to rise and flow

Soft crying echoes begin from still hidden thoughts

Searching red flames fire the edge of clouds

Still trees become torches to herald its path